Battle of Knits

Drama

So, more drama. Yesterday I put my son to bed… I was listening to some music and typing a new post, hit publish and *** poof! Everything was gone. I knew instantly who was behind it. It wasnt Josh. We are not on great terms, but he is not really vicious like that. I called Josh and he helped me fix things. He was actually pretty sweet about it. He knows how much I love having this outlet. That is one thing I hate about Josh… he isnt all bad. Deep down he really is a good person and he loves me. I know he feels badly about things. I also know that he was not the leader either. He is no angel, but he would not have planned such a thing. I doubt it was his idea and I know for a fact it was not something he would have done on his own. It does not make it okay… and it does not make me feel better.  I do know though that the prick who deleted my blog from the server is just afraid of what others may read. He knows he is not a good person and I could go on and on with examples, but honestly I dont care. The night they left for Miami they put a ladder in the garage. They mentioned it was expensive… so when my blog went offline I went onto the local freecycle and listed it as “Offer: Very expensive ladder, Please come pick up, it must go ASAP” …I got over 32 emails before morning.

I’m tired of all the bullshit and drama though. I interviewed a babysitter today. She seems great! Two minutes of being in the same room as her and I could tell she will work out very well. Now to make the counseling appointment and make up some lists for her. I hope we can get an appt for counseling soon. The first visit or two are always formality anyway. If this does not help things, then not even Dr. Phil can save us.

Did I mention I had won a free skein of sock yarn and a Cookie A sock kit from EatSleepKnit.com??? Well, I got to pick out the sock yarn I wanted, and then I even got to pick out the Cookie A. pattern I wanted! I picked Handmaiden, Casbah sock yarn and the Tryserto pattern. I do not see myself making the socks any day soon…  Not the biggest sock fan. I do like the pattern though and can see myself making it in the future.

I am trying to post pictures and it is not cooperating. I will keep trying.

Shawl (again!) & some updates + news

Yeah, I am going to make you look at that shawl again. Sick of it yet? I seriously love that thing. If i didnt mention already, that shawl is going up to Maine to live with my cousin Allie. She will appreciate and I know it will safe from grubby little toddler hands! Besides she has much more time to wear something like that. If it lived here it would be hanging on something for 363 days a year… what kind of life is that? That shawl was made to party!!! Ha, yeah… okay in all seriousness… I bragged like a little kid who just won a spelling bee on my LYS’s forum on Rav and Lorena is going to post some picks of it on the Hanks blog. Without further ado…

BEHOLD:

Traveling -up to Maine shawl

I think this my biggest accomplishment since carrying a child for 9 months inside my body.

It has really brought me back. I was out of sorts for awhile.

…

Totally unrelated news…

I have some more donations lined up for the big giveaway! I was hitting a lot of walls at first, but now I am having better luck– Keep checking in for more info!

Josh is in Miami tonight, for some work related conference. Now I have gone to many work conferences back when I was in the corporate world. Most of my conferences involved drinking tasting wine and trying to hold important conversations while completely buzzed worrying about how red my teeth were from the wine, but never once were they ever held in a strip club. What you say? A strip club? Well, he didnt tell me that is where they are held… I can just only assume he will be going to one and then will sleep in far too late to attend the conference. We will see. In 2010 I intend on exposing much more of my personal life. Why? Well, why the hell not? I Facebook and Twitter all day anyway. I would like to give ya’ll something interesting to read besides just pics of my knitting, pics of my kid doing crazy stuff and general whining. The stats have gone up considerably in the last 2 months. Now, dont let me scare you off… Stats just tell me how many people are reading, not *who* is reading. So you are still an anonymous reader. How do I know you wish to stay a closeted reader??? You dont leave comments. Come on people. I think you can do that anonymously too. So keep on stalking reading!

(Does this mean I need to hit the spell check once in awhile?)

I have a bunch of gluten-free product reviews to post. I just have no time. Clingy child= neglected blog. Sorry! Do I even have any GFree readers? Most people think this is completely in my head, with the exception being Josh, since he knows how sick I get. GLUTEN IS EVERYWHERE!!!

I am really feeling for the survivors down in Haiti today. Normally I live the usual selfish live, believing if I cant see it, it aint that bad. Well, today I watched Oprah (sue me.) and Wyclef Jean (dont be hatin’– I love him) was showing actual video his brother shot on a flip cam. There are piles and piles of bodies everywhere, dead children and lots of people just freaking out in general due to lack of supplies and care. He said the stench is overwhelming and the graveyards are full. Here I sit in my nice big house, drinking my wine, listening to music on my laptop, typing away on my blog— and it makes me feel terrible! I dont know what there is that I can do. My only idea is this baby hat pattern I made. I am going to post it on Ravelry tonight and sell it for $5 and list it under the Patterns for Haiti. All proceeds go to help Haiti. I was going to type it up and give it out for free. I mean, its just a baby hat… but if you need to get something for your donation… here you go! I sometimes wish I was independently wealthy and didnt have a young toddler to chase right now– I would go down there and help out the people. That would be a great life. Might be hard work, but at least I would sleep soundly knowing I did what I could for my fellow peeps. Yeah, if I had a billion dollars… I’d be there digging through the rubble in Haiti, trying to save people… children… and well, humanity in general. Until then… I will cherish my son and raise him to be as giving and caring as his mommy is. The kid is golden though, he will be a a wonderful addition to society, I just know it.

(LISTENING TO WYCLEF)

Okay off to post my pattern, then off to knit and watch some Nip/Tuck. Wait! I cant leave this on such a somber note… SO here you go:

Don't be hatin' on Wyclef.

PEACE.

Holy purls!

I have 8 rows left… Technically 16 if you consider that it is RS (right side) and WS (wrong side) rows. The WS rows are killing me… They are mindless and they seem to take forever!!! I feel like I am doomed to be freaking purling for the rest of my life!!! What a fate! I had a genius idea for a design during a purl row though! It is an idea for a sleeve-less little number and I am excited to put some ideas on paper. I just bought some yarn today that will be perfect… It is only a matter of doing some math really. Then sketching and knitting up a test… I guess purling isn’t so bad. At least it gives youind a chance to wander.

I am hoping to finish this shawl this weekend. I hope I remember to bind off super loose… So many Rav folks mentioned this in their notes. Then I will get working on a few fun crochet projects… Strongbad and Homestar Runner for Josh and Toodee from Yo Gabba Gabba for my buddy Boo bear. All while designing this IDEA. I think it will be the perfect pattern to include in the BIG GIVEAWAY… Yes! I am teaming with another mommy blogger to do a big giveaway! Expect it this Spring!!! There are 3 planned for the year so far, so bookmark this blog, check back often and tell your friends. This will be fun!

Enjoy some pics of the shawl…

I’m too tired for a title tonight.

Poop!

There I said it.

I have been cranky lately and I dont know how to fix myself. I would love to blame the lack of interesting television… things have not been the same for me since Bret Michaels found his “Rock of Love”, but I dont think tv is too blame this time. I am even in a knitting funk. I have been slack on a few projects and now can only seem to  knit for the shop… if you have seen my shop lately you will notice I have not been very productive.

What is my problem? Let me break it down… first, my mother. She is crazy normally, but lately has taken a turn for the worst. Her house is a wreck and I dont know why she is letting everything go. Okay, by ”wreck” I mean there is barely a pathway to get through it. She is as emotionally removed as usual, but this has also gotten worse. In early November she called me and wanted to make plans for Christmas. So we did… Christmas Eve she called me to confirm the plans and everything was a go. She was supposed to show up around 2pm… so at 4:30 when she had not arrived or called, I called her. She called me back after 5pm and told me she had been in the ER because she thought she broke her finger, but it was not broken. I asked her if she could hurry, since the baby had to eat dinner (she was responsible for a majority of the food) and then take his bath and go to bed by 8pm. She said she had not had a chance to cook the potatoes, but I told her not to worry, we could cook them here. an hour later she called me sounding more wasted than Ozzy Osbourne, telling me that the pain meds they gave her were strong and she had fallen down trying to get the phone and was hoping she wouldnt puke… oh, yeah and she said she was sorry and that she loved me. I told her to get some sleep and call me in the morning. She did not call the next day or answer her phone, though I called at least 5-6 times all day. Same thing Sunday. So finally we all drove over there. No answer at the door. I knocked on all the windows, then I noticed her car was all scratched up and the garage door was busted as if she had driven into it. So I broke in and hollered to her. She was sleeping. Then she was upset that I had woken her up. Well, I proceeded to give her a piece of my mind. I just do not understand her. She has seen her grandson three times. Birth, as he was being rushed to the NICU, then at 2 weeks old as I was getting a ride from her to get my staples out. She held him as if he was contagious… like at arms length. This disturbed me. Then after she had moved into her new place I stopped by to visit, change a diaper and nurse the boy when he was around 7 months. Her house was not as bad as now, but still terrible and I was cringing about even bringing my son in there. I made it a fast visit and I refuse to bring him back inside until she cleans the place up. So the idea of her coming over for Christmas was delightful to me. I felt like maybe she was getting better… but I think she is in fact getting worse.

Sorry. Heavy stuff I know… it has been weighing on me.

Josh generally drives me crazy. Above and beyond being a typical male, he really lacks any and all initiative when it comes to… well, everything. He is not exactly the strong, compassionate and reliable man I dreamt of all my life. He can open a jar… and he has good personal hygiene, holds a job and pays bills, but other than that I cannot really count on him to help me with much. He feels like this is all he needs to do. He actually feels like I dont do enough!  His mother is one of those types who does everything for her man and for her child, all while keeping a perfectly neat and orderly home and taking care of every loose end… oh and the kicker– she would never complain either! So Josh is assuming that this is a normal quality for women in general… I just dont agree. I do not have a problem cooking, doing dishes, laundry, general cleaning and being a mom. I do however have a problem when I am always doing everything and then the weekend comes. Josh has two days off and helps with nothing. Usually he tries to get as much sleep as possible with a quick break for drinking and video games. I would just love some ”me” time. Some time off. I dont even want two full days… not even one full day! Lately he has been waking on Saturday at 8am and letting me sleep in for a few hours, then we trade-off. Yeah, that sounds really sweet right? Wrong! I have to bargain for it in some way or another and to me that just takes most of the enjoyment out of it. Just once I would love for him to do something nice, just to make me happy. HA-HA and one day hell just might freeze over too.

Sorry. This isnt a complaint blog now, I promise.

My son! Yes, my sweet little bundle of joy is another part of my problem! Recently, he has turned from lovable boy who gives me kisses and hugs who sings and has fun all day, to a maniacal little German midget who finds great delight in my despair and shock. He is not fully talking, but if I listen carefully I can decipher his German and he says little things like “I-get-up” or “I-go” which normally would be so adorable, but usually it screamed at me like an order I must adhere to! On the one hand, I want to stand at attention and follow his commands, on the other hand, I think that I need to take the upper hand in the situation. I mean, a child cannot make the rules, right? …right? HA. I try and lay down the law in my best ”Mom means business” voice and although I feel like I am stern and stiff… he just laughs at me. Then he continues his tirade. He is a very demanding young fellow. I am really looking forward to the part where Sesame Street starts teaching him english so I can actually understand him.

He has given up the highchair. He just wont have it anymore. I tried to enforce it, but then gave up and tonight he ate his meal on his knees in a regular chair at the table. I feel like he is too young for all this defiance and independence, but according to “THEM” he is right on track. I am afraid and I know that I need to figure out my game plan… since we seem to be playing a game of proverbial Risk and I think he might have been buttering me up with all those kisses and hugs in order to attack me when I am vulnerable. He did well and though he may fight a good fight, I intend to win this war and have a well behaved child without ending up in jail. This cant last forever, right? …right?  (Stop laughing.)

So these are my current stresses. Just add a gluten-free diet! (which by the way, 2 out of my 3 friends told me they think it is probably just “in my head”) I can assure everyone that I really have some sort of issue… whether it be Celiac’s diesease or just a severe gluen/wheat intolerance, I am not sure.

My life in a nutshell.

I do not know what to do about it, except just push through each day. I just keep knitting, reading, watching my tv and blogging in my spare time, hoping I dont end up as crazy as my mother.

Poop.

Wait, I cant end this on such a sour note. I refuse…

I finished cleaning my closet which included organizing my stash. Let’s just say I need to unscrew the lightbulb in there. Josh would freak out. I seriously freaked out! I had no idea I had so much. So score one for yarn hoarding.

Also, I lanolized 3 woolies items tonight and my hands are so baby smooth!

Oh an how about that Yarn Harlot? She’s amusing, eh?

…

The owl.

We had a vistor today and I was lucky enough to get a few pictures of him. Please dont mind my terrible photo. I really need to get the flash fixed or at least play with the settings.

Owl, hunting squirrels, I hope.

 – If an owl hoots at the moment of childbirth, the child will have an unhappy life.

 – The Irish believe that if an owl flies into a house it must be killed immediately. If it escapes, it will take the luck of the house with it.

 – If an owl nests in an abandoned house, then the dwelling must be haunted. An owl is the only creature who can abide a ghost.

 – By eating salted owl, a person can be cured of gout.

 – If an owl hoots during a burial service, the deceased is bound to rise from the grave and haunt the living.

 – An owl living in the attic of a house will cause a pregnant woman to miscarry.

 – If a pregnant woman hears the shriek of an owl, her child will be a girl.”

Sick kid & lotsa sunshine

First Crayons!

First work of art.

 It has been nice out these past couple days and my little guy has not felt like going out for very long. He has a sore throat and has lost most of his little voice… not that he really talks, but even his babbles and cries are weak. Poor kid. Well today since he is tired of the backyard, we went for a stroller-stroll and cruised the neighborhood, the took a break at the crappy playground. the playground may be cool one of these days, but for now it is really for bigger kids. He ran around it though! His interest was most caought by the tennis players and their backpacks sitting next to the fence. I had to giggle as I watched him try to put a rock in one of the tennis players backpacks. It was on the other side of the fence though and he could not quite reach.

(paused overnight… resumed on 09-23)

Well I think my son is finally feeling better. His voice seems better and there is no cough today. He had more energy while playing outside and he seems more like himself! YAY!

Meanwhile, he is napping so I must work on a crochet project and enjoy some peace, as I cook a tasty stew with chicken, veggies and beans. It smells so good I can hardly stop the drool.

Last night and Monday I enjoyed some good tv. Hell’s Kitchen was amusing as always, and Hero’s is looking like a good season, however I dont think I like the new carnie character. 90210 is rocking a new theme song and Annie is finally where I want her– bitchville! She was such a wet blanket last season. I am watching Melrose Place too, but I think it may get cancelled. Lets see what else? The Forgotten, with Christian Slater is the new Jerry Bruckheimer show… I like CSI, not as much as all the Law & Orders, but this new one was a little cheesy if you ask me. I much preferred My Own Worst Enemy, but I would watch Christian Slater if he was on an infomercial. He is my first love and always will be. (heart-heart-heart) I cant wait for Fringe– my fave show and the new Flash Forward is looking pretty interesting too. Tonight is the new L&O: SVU! Exciting. I am bummed though that on my DVR I can only record 2 shows at once… since tonight SVU is opposite Glee and  Modern Family/Cougar Town. Josh wont give up Glee, even though I find it so-so. It has a few funny moments, but a musical tv drama just does not do it for me… However, it does do it for Josh. So Glee it is. Maybe I can find the other two shows online or something. If I wasnt so lazy I would move the other tv so I could plug it into the cable. It just isnt worth it. Please, let me know what I miss!

Ugh, yeah… whatever! & happier stuff, I swear.

So let first say… Shut up. I am moody as hell lately. I went grocery shopping today and I was grumbling the whole time. So many stupid people in my way… talking on their cell phones, arguing about brands, or even just having a coughing fit. No empathy coming from me today. Just move!

I am also pissed off about my organic produce section. Last week and this week the tomatoes look like shit. How are am I supposed to enjoy my tacos with shitty tomatoes? And I am the idiot who is kicking herself for buying them anyway!!!!!!!! WTF is my problem? I am paranoid about pesticides and GMO’s, so sue me… but I hate the fact that I put my shitty tomatoes in the cart and then walk past the genetically altered and soaked in pesticide tomatoes that look so wonderful. Stupid bitch tomatoes. Just die. Rot and friggin die.

Okay, enough negitive. On a positive note I have a new project in the works… Laura a good internet & crafty friend has mailed me some yarn! We traded diapers for woolies… so I have the honor of making her newborn baby doll some woolies. She had a big baby the first time aorund, so these will be size 3-6 ish. I love the colors and cant wait to get started… as if I need another project, but I cannot resist a new baby, you know? super smiley!

 I am twittering again after a bit of a sporadic hiatus. I love twitter. No ads, no bullshit. Sometimes I get follower spam, but not lately. I love random anything… especially random twittering tweets. You never know what you will find and that is the draw… plus I have this need to share with strangers. I am not an exhibitionist in the general sense of the word, but I do love to share… Twitter-bitionsist? Blogger-bitionist? Whatever! (Shut up.)

My son is adapting well to the Cry It Out method and I am forever greatful. I do miss him dearly, but I love stretching out on my half of the bed, I love not nursing all night long and waking up feeling like my nipples were dipped in a piranha tank, I love the way I feel after a full nights sleep and most of all… I love how my son seems so happy, despite how sad/mad he seems after being put down for bed. I relaly like the way I appreciate our daytime sessions now. they are so much more meaningful.

Okay off to drain my DVR… its time for reality tv and more jello-shots. ? Que`? Jello shots you say? Yes, I made jello shots. I had this pesky bottle of Cruzan Coconut Rum in my freezer for about 3 years and I made jello shots hoping to drain the damn thing. There is like a 1/2 cup left (maybe) and I cant bring myself to dump it (alcohol abuse is so wrong) and so the damn thing will clog my friggin freezer for much longer than I anticipated. It just wont die. For what it is worth though, I made some KICK ASS jello shots! Strawberry-banana jello with coconut rum and vodka… oh DELISH! SO just shut up already. I hate Aunt Flow. Screw her.

Adding to my resume, one screw at a time!!!