Battle of Knits

“Sometimes I get so tense, but I can’t speed up the time…”

I have come to realize after a day of screaming too much… that I do not have a lot of patience. Some days I have more (a lot more) than others.

Today was not one of those days.

I hate hearing myself scream at my son. I am going to make a HUGE effort to limit this as much as possible, because after today I am upset with myself for not having more patience. I made it through the infant stages with minimal breakdowns… there was this one day where I thought I was losing it, called Josh at work crying because our son just would not stop crying– I had maybe 20 minutes sleep in 2 days… I look back now and cant believe I was as calm as I was! Must have been those oxytocin and prolactin hormones flowing from breastfeeding!!!

Right now the kid must be going through something… A growth spurt? A phase? Whatever it is I am completely frustrated by it. He wants to be held– and ONLY BY ME– 24 hours a day. He is being very picky with food these last few days. I feel like I throw out enough to feed 2 extra kids some days. Today I could only get him to eat half a waffle, french fries and some gluten-free flat bread. I tossed out chicken, broccoli, crackers, raisins and it drives me crazy. Tomorrow I am going to try some jello with fruit in it. He will most likely eat more tomorrow since it is “Daddy-day” since I am going out to Hank’s in the afternoon. We shall see. I just want my happy kid back!!!!

Finally at least the weather seems to be warming up. Today might have hit 70. I feel like such a freak sometimes… I moved here in August of 2004 and that winter I never wore a jacket, maybe a sweater in January… I wore flip-flops the whole season and though everyone around me was crazy in their UGG boots and scaves, hats, mittens, ski jackets… Honestly, I have not yet pulled out my L.L. Bean ski jacket since moving here. Now I do feel cold if it drops below 60 degrees. I have fully adapted to Florida living!!! Scary.

Here is a picture of the best part of our day. We went to the mall to get me some jeans and the Boo-bear some new sneakers.

See next blog post… since Flickr is a pain in my ass!

Pearl Jam– Dissident

She nursed him there, ooh, over a night
Wasn’t so sure she wanted him to stay
What to say…what to say
But soon she was down, soon he was low
At a quarter past…a holy no…
She had to turn around

When she couldn’t hold, oh…she folded…
A dissident is here
Escape is never, the safest path
Oh, a dissident, a dissident is here

And to this day, she’s glided on
Always home but so far away
Like a word misplaced
Nothing to say, what a waste
When she had contact…with the conflict…
There was meaning, but she sold him to the state
She had to turn around

When she couldn’t hold…she folded…
A dissident is here
Escape is never, the safest path
Oh, a dissident, a dissident is here, oh…oh…oh…

She gave him away when she couldn’t hold…no…she folded…
A dissident is here
Escape is never, the safest path
Oh, a dissident, a dissident is here, oh…
Couldn’t hold on…she couldn’t hold…no…she folded…
A dissident is here
Escape is never the safest place, oh…
A dissident is here

I love lamp.

I sit here, blogging away, feeling antsy. I thought I had a cold bottle of wine chilling from last night, but I was wrong. So all day I anticipated blogging and sipping a glass of wine and then having my second glass while watching TV and knitting my Tea Leaves Cardi. I dont really need a drink so much as I was just looking forward to the ritual of relaxing while writing my ramblings… do I complain enough? Wait, dont answer that.

Do not even ask about my title. Sometimes I am positive that my ADHD topics in one post will never be cohesive enough to come up with a title that ties it all together and then, some nights, I just dont care. (Damn wine!) It is 51 degrees out there and I am ready for some Spring! Yesterday I went by Hanks for Sunday “Stitch and Bitch” and I was knitting away on my cardi until the Super Bowl started. I got exactly the length I needed to get too so I could YET AGAIN separate for the sleeves. I went and did some super fast grocery shopping, then got home during the second quarter, finished up the baby bath and put the kiddo to bed. Then I watched the worst half-time show in history. Seriously. I pulled out my cardi and did a lot of counting, poured some wine  and went crazy… I got at least 3 inches knitted up by the end of Undercover Boss (loved it). I went to bed and today I wanted to take a pic in some good light to show off to my wild and crazy blog readers (because I know how to party) and to my dismay horror, I found that I had miscounted terribly since the sides were completely uneven. I felt ill. So a few hours later when my little Damien Love went to nap I pulled it out again, ripped back to the sleeve splits and re-counted… and then I counted again. Then I counted once more. I split for the sleeves and was nearly done knitting through the row when my son decided he was done sleeping. I was hoping I could at least get 4 rows done, but no luck. Tonight that damn cardi is mine. I will conquer this damn thing and even if I never even wear it I will feel completely satisfied! —Which brings me to why I brought this up in the first place… leaving Hanks last night around 6:30 it was just dark and it was chilly! I was thinking about how warm the sweater will be, you know, in like 2012. Because it might just take that long.

Today my son hit the dog in the head with a block. More than once. I saw him do it, didnt really get it, saw him do it again and jumped up to react and he had nearly conked the poor dog again when I grabbed the block and told him “No! We dont hit the doggie.” and then “Be nice to doggie” as I pet the dog, he then of course pet the dog, which resulted in the dog forgiving him, or I can only assume by the tongue bath he gave my son! This was my first instance of that– probably wont be the last, but nonetheless, I was pretty shocked. At the same time I realize it is just toddler behavior and I am glad that my dog, Monster is docile with my son and did not react. He pretty much just stood there. Poor dog. I gave him a chicken nugget for being a good sport, so I think he is okay about the whole ordeal.

I bought a book for my Kindle today. Don’t laugh… but please comment away! It is Dr. Laura (okay I hear you laughing) and the title is “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” (is this a ROTFLMAO moment?) and I was pointed towards in after reading another woman’s story. Her issues were similar to mine, her’s being a bit worse, and someone had asked her if she had ever read the book. I was curious. I remember listening to Dr. Laura when I was younger (of course regretting it every time) so I went on Amazon and bought it. I really hate the tone already. I already feel like she is yelling at me. Then I think about it… she is quite the career and power woman, conservative, yes, but also balancing a husband, kids and work. I want to know her secret. I dont work, but I do some side things with my knitting. In any case I usually end up feeling stressed at the end of the day, wishing I had just 4 more hours and 8 more ounces of coffee…I’m constantly stuck in that classic Saved By The Bell scene where Jessica Spano is hooked on the speed pills and trying to everything and she is screaming “There is NEVER enough time!“  before she collapses. It was truly the climatic acting moment for that series, but I feel like that is my life. I feel like a lot of moms feel the same way. You try so hard, but you can never do it all… well Dr. Laura says (so far) that if we (as women) take that out on our man we are selfish and doomed to be alone. She mentions that men are simple (Agree) and that to please them we need to do nothing more than feed them (Mine does not eat) and have sex with them (duh.). This apparently equals a happy man. Now as much as I would love to test this theory and really put it too the test, I still have to clean my house and maintain our everyday life. Plus, as I mentioned it is rare when josh eats dinner. He is very unhealthy and tends to eat one huge meal between 1pm and 6pm during work. Honestly, I do not think he is a fan of my cooking. Even before I went Gluten-free I dont think he liked my food. He is not your typical male who eats red meat often and could live on chicken and potatoes… he was raised vegetarian, so he did not grow up eating burgers, steak, meatloaf, shepards pie, casserole of any kind, chicken dishes or BBQ… so he always requests side dishes as meals… like Mac and Cheese… I get it. I know why he is that way, but I still to this day cannot wrap my head around it. I pretty much eat vegetarian these days, but I still do not eat the things he loves– pasta or sandwiches, unless they are gluten-free, which he wont eat. So I am stuck making 2 meals. I dont mind, since I eat before he comes home most days, but really he does not eat at home much. So Dr. Laura… does this mean I am screwed? That there is no hope??? That is 50 % of your equation! So for now, I will just keep reading  (and having sex). These two things are never really an issue, except when I feel like I have been disrespected (often) so I think this book might be a waste of $8.59. I am really trying to be optimistic though. (really, I swear.)

(really!)

(Is my friggin wine cold yet?)

(Now there is a title! HA!)

So, another fun thing today was the introduction of carrot sticks. I have been nervous to cut him up some for fear of choking, but I think raw food is important for children (and adults), besides, he has like a million teeth, right? So I took a carrot and sliced it into toothpick like strips–seriously. He loved them! He munched away on them until his Daddy came home. Then with carrots in his mouth he decided to run to the bed to play wrestle-fun-time with Dad… which resulted in him spitting chewed carrot all over my blanket and side of the bed. “Well, at least he didnt choke,” was all I could think. I am currently washing my comforter and sheets. So much for getting to bed early!

I was poking through blogs today. If you never surf my blog roll, you should. I felt like I was on a visit… I went to visit Marr Haven farm, Stephanie Japel, to see if she had her baby yet (go see for yourself!), I popped into my bitch Jen’s blog, Laura’s PhrogBlog and of course Yarn Harlot. It was fun. **Good Times**

(Remind me to talk about the new TV next time. )

Shawl (again!) & some updates + news

Yeah, I am going to make you look at that shawl again. Sick of it yet? I seriously love that thing. If i didnt mention already, that shawl is going up to Maine to live with my cousin Allie. She will appreciate and I know it will safe from grubby little toddler hands! Besides she has much more time to wear something like that. If it lived here it would be hanging on something for 363 days a year… what kind of life is that? That shawl was made to party!!! Ha, yeah… okay in all seriousness… I bragged like a little kid who just won a spelling bee on my LYS’s forum on Rav and Lorena is going to post some picks of it on the Hanks blog. Without further ado…

BEHOLD:

Traveling -up to Maine shawl

I think this my biggest accomplishment since carrying a child for 9 months inside my body.

It has really brought me back. I was out of sorts for awhile.

…

Totally unrelated news…

I have some more donations lined up for the big giveaway! I was hitting a lot of walls at first, but now I am having better luck– Keep checking in for more info!

Josh is in Miami tonight, for some work related conference. Now I have gone to many work conferences back when I was in the corporate world. Most of my conferences involved drinking tasting wine and trying to hold important conversations while completely buzzed worrying about how red my teeth were from the wine, but never once were they ever held in a strip club. What you say? A strip club? Well, he didnt tell me that is where they are held… I can just only assume he will be going to one and then will sleep in far too late to attend the conference. We will see. In 2010 I intend on exposing much more of my personal life. Why? Well, why the hell not? I Facebook and Twitter all day anyway. I would like to give ya’ll something interesting to read besides just pics of my knitting, pics of my kid doing crazy stuff and general whining. The stats have gone up considerably in the last 2 months. Now, dont let me scare you off… Stats just tell me how many people are reading, not *who* is reading. So you are still an anonymous reader. How do I know you wish to stay a closeted reader??? You dont leave comments. Come on people. I think you can do that anonymously too. So keep on stalking reading!

(Does this mean I need to hit the spell check once in awhile?)

I have a bunch of gluten-free product reviews to post. I just have no time. Clingy child= neglected blog. Sorry! Do I even have any GFree readers? Most people think this is completely in my head, with the exception being Josh, since he knows how sick I get. GLUTEN IS EVERYWHERE!!!

I am really feeling for the survivors down in Haiti today. Normally I live the usual selfish live, believing if I cant see it, it aint that bad. Well, today I watched Oprah (sue me.) and Wyclef Jean (dont be hatin’– I love him) was showing actual video his brother shot on a flip cam. There are piles and piles of bodies everywhere, dead children and lots of people just freaking out in general due to lack of supplies and care. He said the stench is overwhelming and the graveyards are full. Here I sit in my nice big house, drinking my wine, listening to music on my laptop, typing away on my blog— and it makes me feel terrible! I dont know what there is that I can do. My only idea is this baby hat pattern I made. I am going to post it on Ravelry tonight and sell it for $5 and list it under the Patterns for Haiti. All proceeds go to help Haiti. I was going to type it up and give it out for free. I mean, its just a baby hat… but if you need to get something for your donation… here you go! I sometimes wish I was independently wealthy and didnt have a young toddler to chase right now– I would go down there and help out the people. That would be a great life. Might be hard work, but at least I would sleep soundly knowing I did what I could for my fellow peeps. Yeah, if I had a billion dollars… I’d be there digging through the rubble in Haiti, trying to save people… children… and well, humanity in general. Until then… I will cherish my son and raise him to be as giving and caring as his mommy is. The kid is golden though, he will be a a wonderful addition to society, I just know it.

(LISTENING TO WYCLEF)

Okay off to post my pattern, then off to knit and watch some Nip/Tuck. Wait! I cant leave this on such a somber note… SO here you go:

Don't be hatin' on Wyclef.

PEACE.

Holy purls!

I have 8 rows left… Technically 16 if you consider that it is RS (right side) and WS (wrong side) rows. The WS rows are killing me… They are mindless and they seem to take forever!!! I feel like I am doomed to be freaking purling for the rest of my life!!! What a fate! I had a genius idea for a design during a purl row though! It is an idea for a sleeve-less little number and I am excited to put some ideas on paper. I just bought some yarn today that will be perfect… It is only a matter of doing some math really. Then sketching and knitting up a test… I guess purling isn’t so bad. At least it gives youind a chance to wander.

I am hoping to finish this shawl this weekend. I hope I remember to bind off super loose… So many Rav folks mentioned this in their notes. Then I will get working on a few fun crochet projects… Strongbad and Homestar Runner for Josh and Toodee from Yo Gabba Gabba for my buddy Boo bear. All while designing this IDEA. I think it will be the perfect pattern to include in the BIG GIVEAWAY… Yes! I am teaming with another mommy blogger to do a big giveaway! Expect it this Spring!!! There are 3 planned for the year so far, so bookmark this blog, check back often and tell your friends. This will be fun!

Enjoy some pics of the shawl…

Toddler-bed Success!

It seemed to take FOREVER! I was a zombie for over a week… getting about 4 hours of sleep a night. Well, Tuesday night he slept the whole night, only waking a few times and falling back to sleep quickly. I woke up feeling pretty good. I was floored when he actually took a nap yesterday too! (Just after I finished my blog post about him not napping, of course.) Well, then he went to bed without a fuss at 8:15pm and I was just delighted at the idea of having our routine back! He slept decent… not wonderful, but better than he has been! He woke around 12:45am, I was up, reading the Kindle, so I went in and nursed him. I was really surprised when he was done nursing he let me get up, (yes, I squish into the toddler bed with him) and he simply rolled over and went to sleep rather than make a fuss or fight the sleep. I snuck out of there within 5 minutes and he did not wake again until 7am. I went and retrieved him, bringing him to our bed at that point. I shouldnt, but it seems if he wakes me between 4am and 7am I am on auto-pilot and I just grab him and bring him to our bed, some mornings I dont even remember doing it… I am a sleep-walking Mommy! So I feel GREAT today! I still tried to sleep in a little, but he really wasnt letting me today. I made the mistake of giving him a small piece of coffee cake with his banana for breakfast, so of course, he ate the cake and left the banana… then buzzed around on a cinnamon-sugar high for about an hour. He just finished lunch and I am hoping he naps again today. Sneaky me, I just replayed today’s Sesame Street so I could get some housework done and bang out this post! The house is swept, the blankets are being washed, most of the laundry is folded, dishes are in the dishwasher and I am on cup of coffee #2… hoping to get a bunch done and then have some knitting time during his nap.

I wanted to share something painful that happened yesterday…

I made a nice lunch for my baby-Boo. I put it on a plate, since he thinks he is too big for the highchair now and usually does pretty well at eating when I set meals out for him. He is a good buffet eater, eats what he likes, feeds the rest to the dog… yesterday, however he was a bit hyper and I should have known better!

Beautiful Lunch!

YUM!

All done!

I told Josh I want to take a class at Hanks for my Christmas present. Now I am having the hardest time deciding which one I want to take. There are about 4 I am interested in…Beaded Knitting, Spinning, Soap Making, Sweater Design and I am sort of wanting to take the 2 Toe-up socks on Circs, but I think I have sworn off socks forever. Spinning seems interesting, but also –expensive. I cant really afford to add to my habit. There is a drop spindle class, which is cheaper, but still… eh. I dont want to get addicted to another craft at this moment.

We have a date tonight. Kind of lame, but I am excited… we are going to sit on the couch and watch Evan Almighty. Yes, I am aware that it is an old movie. Last night we were talking and I mentioned that I was happy he had DVR’d that movie since I never saw the whole thing. We then remembered that I was pregnant the first time we watched it and I had to leave in the middle to go to work. He saw the whole thing after I had left, but he really likes Steve Carrell, (although he has not noticed I cleared The Office from the DVR yet… I find it excruciating!) so he declared that we have a date to watch it tonight. I am hoping we get some Pizza Hut wings too… I have not had them in almost 2 weeks. So, as easily amused as I am… I look forward to our “at-home” date, especially since the kiddo is sleeping so well lately.

Octoberfest.

Lorena posted the October square and I like it. If I wasnt in the middle of the March square and a plain old stockinette square, I would cast on right now.

Packing outside the box

This is what happened while I was working on the Jan square. Note to self: buy more vacuum cleaner bags!

I had my last knitting class on Saturday. This delicious hank merino begged to come home with me!

This is proof that my son is already “thinking outside the box”

I am so proud!

Day 3… ugh.

Not just sitting on my butt all day…