Battle of Knits

DIY Lobotamy

I have been seriously thinking about performing major surgery on myself lately. However, I cannot decide between a lobotomy and tubal ligation. Both would have results that might help my situation, but I am just not sure which would be more effective.

(Probably the lobotomy, since a tubal ligation is not retroactive.)

My son is seriously on thin ice with me. If this is the beginning of the “terrible twos” then one of us is in big-time trouble. It seems that he cannot go more than sixty seconds without being held. There are out and out tantrums several times per day now, when he used to be so wonderful. We cant take him to the grocery store… crap, I tried to walk him to the mailbox today and that was a disaster! It ended with me carrying an armful of mail & a package one one side and a kicking screaming kid in the other. He is hitting, throwing things, pulling hair and being generally defiant. In a way I am sort of proud of all his little kid angst… then I have to duck to avoid being hit upside the head with a toy car. He is seriously asserting himself and telling me that he will do what he wants. Well, I have news for that little boy… he had better hope that this phase does not last or he will be spending a lot of time in “the penalty box”! I have already been talking to Josh about it and I am going to have to begin the time-out training ASAP.

You just dont picture this aggravation when you are pregnant. Or when they are learning to crawl & walk… then BAM! Your sweet little baby turns into a monster. One day I’m getting six kisses in a row, then next he trying his hardest to kick me in the face. “Patience is a virtue” and whomever came up with that saying must have had many toddlers. I just hope I survive this. PLease please remind me of all this insanity if I ever say I’m ready for another one!!! (email me the link!)

Finally time to start a heel

My socks are coming along slowly. One needs another chart repeat, the other is ready for a heel. Eventually I might finish them… by the end of the Olympics? HA-HA yeah right! It just isnt going to happen and I have accepted it. I’m just glad everyone in our house is alive… for now. Oh and I have not yet been committed to a mental hospital.

The Strongbad Without a Face

In the land of crochet… Which I visited last night since I was exhausted from averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night for the past 5 nights and a bit burnt out on lace after knitting on my socks at Hank’s Sunday afternoon. I sewed him all together. I just need some felt for his face. His head is a tad lopsided, but I’m over it. I had to sew around the head about 40 times. The body and feet are stuffed with rice and lentils so they are heavier like a beanbag, but the head is just full of fluff, so it was nearly impossible to keep it from flopping… after sewing and sewing… and sewing… I looked at it. It was not floppy, just a bit tilted. It is going to have to do!  I have really enjoyed these amigurumi projects.

Handmaiden Casbah Sock ~ Ruby

Everything on the needles and hooks will be going ON HOLD in March. March 1st I am starting an Ishbel shawl. I have been committed to this for a month and I am very excited to start it. The yarn is delicious. This picture is terrible, since it was cloudy today, but dont worry. This blog will be saturated in photos of this shawl. I would like to gift this one too, however, this might have to be mine, since I am completely lusting over this yarn. I have named my project the “Ruby-ISH-BELla” because I am super lame. (I have accepted this too.) 

So on hold will be: The Vancouver Socks, the Tea Leaves Cardi, the Toodee doll and one day I might finish the crocus scarf. I had intended to work on it during the Olympics, but never even took it out of the bag. I think it is that yarn. Someone cursed that yarn. (Good thing crochet projects dont count on my 2010 goal.)

Off to knit a heel.

(BTW I absolutely LOVE this new theme!!!)

Socks so far.

Pheasant Run socks, so far, as of 3pm 02/15/2010

I love lamp.

I sit here, blogging away, feeling antsy. I thought I had a cold bottle of wine chilling from last night, but I was wrong. So all day I anticipated blogging and sipping a glass of wine and then having my second glass while watching TV and knitting my Tea Leaves Cardi. I dont really need a drink so much as I was just looking forward to the ritual of relaxing while writing my ramblings… do I complain enough? Wait, dont answer that.

Do not even ask about my title. Sometimes I am positive that my ADHD topics in one post will never be cohesive enough to come up with a title that ties it all together and then, some nights, I just dont care. (Damn wine!) It is 51 degrees out there and I am ready for some Spring! Yesterday I went by Hanks for Sunday “Stitch and Bitch” and I was knitting away on my cardi until the Super Bowl started. I got exactly the length I needed to get too so I could YET AGAIN separate for the sleeves. I went and did some super fast grocery shopping, then got home during the second quarter, finished up the baby bath and put the kiddo to bed. Then I watched the worst half-time show in history. Seriously. I pulled out my cardi and did a lot of counting, poured some wine  and went crazy… I got at least 3 inches knitted up by the end of Undercover Boss (loved it). I went to bed and today I wanted to take a pic in some good light to show off to my wild and crazy blog readers (because I know how to party) and to my dismay horror, I found that I had miscounted terribly since the sides were completely uneven. I felt ill. So a few hours later when my little Damien Love went to nap I pulled it out again, ripped back to the sleeve splits and re-counted… and then I counted again. Then I counted once more. I split for the sleeves and was nearly done knitting through the row when my son decided he was done sleeping. I was hoping I could at least get 4 rows done, but no luck. Tonight that damn cardi is mine. I will conquer this damn thing and even if I never even wear it I will feel completely satisfied! —Which brings me to why I brought this up in the first place… leaving Hanks last night around 6:30 it was just dark and it was chilly! I was thinking about how warm the sweater will be, you know, in like 2012. Because it might just take that long.

Today my son hit the dog in the head with a block. More than once. I saw him do it, didnt really get it, saw him do it again and jumped up to react and he had nearly conked the poor dog again when I grabbed the block and told him “No! We dont hit the doggie.” and then “Be nice to doggie” as I pet the dog, he then of course pet the dog, which resulted in the dog forgiving him, or I can only assume by the tongue bath he gave my son! This was my first instance of that– probably wont be the last, but nonetheless, I was pretty shocked. At the same time I realize it is just toddler behavior and I am glad that my dog, Monster is docile with my son and did not react. He pretty much just stood there. Poor dog. I gave him a chicken nugget for being a good sport, so I think he is okay about the whole ordeal.

I bought a book for my Kindle today. Don’t laugh… but please comment away! It is Dr. Laura (okay I hear you laughing) and the title is “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” (is this a ROTFLMAO moment?) and I was pointed towards in after reading another woman’s story. Her issues were similar to mine, her’s being a bit worse, and someone had asked her if she had ever read the book. I was curious. I remember listening to Dr. Laura when I was younger (of course regretting it every time) so I went on Amazon and bought it. I really hate the tone already. I already feel like she is yelling at me. Then I think about it… she is quite the career and power woman, conservative, yes, but also balancing a husband, kids and work. I want to know her secret. I dont work, but I do some side things with my knitting. In any case I usually end up feeling stressed at the end of the day, wishing I had just 4 more hours and 8 more ounces of coffee…I’m constantly stuck in that classic Saved By The Bell scene where Jessica Spano is hooked on the speed pills and trying to everything and she is screaming “There is NEVER enough time!“  before she collapses. It was truly the climatic acting moment for that series, but I feel like that is my life. I feel like a lot of moms feel the same way. You try so hard, but you can never do it all… well Dr. Laura says (so far) that if we (as women) take that out on our man we are selfish and doomed to be alone. She mentions that men are simple (Agree) and that to please them we need to do nothing more than feed them (Mine does not eat) and have sex with them (duh.). This apparently equals a happy man. Now as much as I would love to test this theory and really put it too the test, I still have to clean my house and maintain our everyday life. Plus, as I mentioned it is rare when josh eats dinner. He is very unhealthy and tends to eat one huge meal between 1pm and 6pm during work. Honestly, I do not think he is a fan of my cooking. Even before I went Gluten-free I dont think he liked my food. He is not your typical male who eats red meat often and could live on chicken and potatoes… he was raised vegetarian, so he did not grow up eating burgers, steak, meatloaf, shepards pie, casserole of any kind, chicken dishes or BBQ… so he always requests side dishes as meals… like Mac and Cheese… I get it. I know why he is that way, but I still to this day cannot wrap my head around it. I pretty much eat vegetarian these days, but I still do not eat the things he loves– pasta or sandwiches, unless they are gluten-free, which he wont eat. So I am stuck making 2 meals. I dont mind, since I eat before he comes home most days, but really he does not eat at home much. So Dr. Laura… does this mean I am screwed? That there is no hope??? That is 50 % of your equation! So for now, I will just keep reading  (and having sex). These two things are never really an issue, except when I feel like I have been disrespected (often) so I think this book might be a waste of $8.59. I am really trying to be optimistic though. (really, I swear.)

(really!)

(Is my friggin wine cold yet?)

(Now there is a title! HA!)

So, another fun thing today was the introduction of carrot sticks. I have been nervous to cut him up some for fear of choking, but I think raw food is important for children (and adults), besides, he has like a million teeth, right? So I took a carrot and sliced it into toothpick like strips–seriously. He loved them! He munched away on them until his Daddy came home. Then with carrots in his mouth he decided to run to the bed to play wrestle-fun-time with Dad… which resulted in him spitting chewed carrot all over my blanket and side of the bed. “Well, at least he didnt choke,” was all I could think. I am currently washing my comforter and sheets. So much for getting to bed early!

I was poking through blogs today. If you never surf my blog roll, you should. I felt like I was on a visit… I went to visit Marr Haven farm, Stephanie Japel, to see if she had her baby yet (go see for yourself!), I popped into my bitch Jen’s blog, Laura’s PhrogBlog and of course Yarn Harlot. It was fun. **Good Times**

(Remind me to talk about the new TV next time. )

Shawl (again!) & some updates + news

Yeah, I am going to make you look at that shawl again. Sick of it yet? I seriously love that thing. If i didnt mention already, that shawl is going up to Maine to live with my cousin Allie. She will appreciate and I know it will safe from grubby little toddler hands! Besides she has much more time to wear something like that. If it lived here it would be hanging on something for 363 days a year… what kind of life is that? That shawl was made to party!!! Ha, yeah… okay in all seriousness… I bragged like a little kid who just won a spelling bee on my LYS’s forum on Rav and Lorena is going to post some picks of it on the Hanks blog. Without further ado…

BEHOLD:

Traveling -up to Maine shawl

I think this my biggest accomplishment since carrying a child for 9 months inside my body.

It has really brought me back. I was out of sorts for awhile.

…

Totally unrelated news…

I have some more donations lined up for the big giveaway! I was hitting a lot of walls at first, but now I am having better luck– Keep checking in for more info!

Josh is in Miami tonight, for some work related conference. Now I have gone to many work conferences back when I was in the corporate world. Most of my conferences involved drinking tasting wine and trying to hold important conversations while completely buzzed worrying about how red my teeth were from the wine, but never once were they ever held in a strip club. What you say? A strip club? Well, he didnt tell me that is where they are held… I can just only assume he will be going to one and then will sleep in far too late to attend the conference. We will see. In 2010 I intend on exposing much more of my personal life. Why? Well, why the hell not? I Facebook and Twitter all day anyway. I would like to give ya’ll something interesting to read besides just pics of my knitting, pics of my kid doing crazy stuff and general whining. The stats have gone up considerably in the last 2 months. Now, dont let me scare you off… Stats just tell me how many people are reading, not *who* is reading. So you are still an anonymous reader. How do I know you wish to stay a closeted reader??? You dont leave comments. Come on people. I think you can do that anonymously too. So keep on stalking reading!

(Does this mean I need to hit the spell check once in awhile?)

I have a bunch of gluten-free product reviews to post. I just have no time. Clingy child= neglected blog. Sorry! Do I even have any GFree readers? Most people think this is completely in my head, with the exception being Josh, since he knows how sick I get. GLUTEN IS EVERYWHERE!!!

I am really feeling for the survivors down in Haiti today. Normally I live the usual selfish live, believing if I cant see it, it aint that bad. Well, today I watched Oprah (sue me.) and Wyclef Jean (dont be hatin’– I love him) was showing actual video his brother shot on a flip cam. There are piles and piles of bodies everywhere, dead children and lots of people just freaking out in general due to lack of supplies and care. He said the stench is overwhelming and the graveyards are full. Here I sit in my nice big house, drinking my wine, listening to music on my laptop, typing away on my blog— and it makes me feel terrible! I dont know what there is that I can do. My only idea is this baby hat pattern I made. I am going to post it on Ravelry tonight and sell it for $5 and list it under the Patterns for Haiti. All proceeds go to help Haiti. I was going to type it up and give it out for free. I mean, its just a baby hat… but if you need to get something for your donation… here you go! I sometimes wish I was independently wealthy and didnt have a young toddler to chase right now– I would go down there and help out the people. That would be a great life. Might be hard work, but at least I would sleep soundly knowing I did what I could for my fellow peeps. Yeah, if I had a billion dollars… I’d be there digging through the rubble in Haiti, trying to save people… children… and well, humanity in general. Until then… I will cherish my son and raise him to be as giving and caring as his mommy is. The kid is golden though, he will be a a wonderful addition to society, I just know it.

(LISTENING TO WYCLEF)

Okay off to post my pattern, then off to knit and watch some Nip/Tuck. Wait! I cant leave this on such a somber note… SO here you go:

Don't be hatin' on Wyclef.

PEACE.

Holy purls!

I have 8 rows left… Technically 16 if you consider that it is RS (right side) and WS (wrong side) rows. The WS rows are killing me… They are mindless and they seem to take forever!!! I feel like I am doomed to be freaking purling for the rest of my life!!! What a fate! I had a genius idea for a design during a purl row though! It is an idea for a sleeve-less little number and I am excited to put some ideas on paper. I just bought some yarn today that will be perfect… It is only a matter of doing some math really. Then sketching and knitting up a test… I guess purling isn’t so bad. At least it gives youind a chance to wander.

I am hoping to finish this shawl this weekend. I hope I remember to bind off super loose… So many Rav folks mentioned this in their notes. Then I will get working on a few fun crochet projects… Strongbad and Homestar Runner for Josh and Toodee from Yo Gabba Gabba for my buddy Boo bear. All while designing this IDEA. I think it will be the perfect pattern to include in the BIG GIVEAWAY… Yes! I am teaming with another mommy blogger to do a big giveaway! Expect it this Spring!!! There are 3 planned for the year so far, so bookmark this blog, check back often and tell your friends. This will be fun!

Enjoy some pics of the shawl…

I’m too tired for a title tonight.

Poop!

There I said it.

I have been cranky lately and I dont know how to fix myself. I would love to blame the lack of interesting television… things have not been the same for me since Bret Michaels found his “Rock of Love”, but I dont think tv is too blame this time. I am even in a knitting funk. I have been slack on a few projects and now can only seem to  knit for the shop… if you have seen my shop lately you will notice I have not been very productive.

What is my problem? Let me break it down… first, my mother. She is crazy normally, but lately has taken a turn for the worst. Her house is a wreck and I dont know why she is letting everything go. Okay, by ”wreck” I mean there is barely a pathway to get through it. She is as emotionally removed as usual, but this has also gotten worse. In early November she called me and wanted to make plans for Christmas. So we did… Christmas Eve she called me to confirm the plans and everything was a go. She was supposed to show up around 2pm… so at 4:30 when she had not arrived or called, I called her. She called me back after 5pm and told me she had been in the ER because she thought she broke her finger, but it was not broken. I asked her if she could hurry, since the baby had to eat dinner (she was responsible for a majority of the food) and then take his bath and go to bed by 8pm. She said she had not had a chance to cook the potatoes, but I told her not to worry, we could cook them here. an hour later she called me sounding more wasted than Ozzy Osbourne, telling me that the pain meds they gave her were strong and she had fallen down trying to get the phone and was hoping she wouldnt puke… oh, yeah and she said she was sorry and that she loved me. I told her to get some sleep and call me in the morning. She did not call the next day or answer her phone, though I called at least 5-6 times all day. Same thing Sunday. So finally we all drove over there. No answer at the door. I knocked on all the windows, then I noticed her car was all scratched up and the garage door was busted as if she had driven into it. So I broke in and hollered to her. She was sleeping. Then she was upset that I had woken her up. Well, I proceeded to give her a piece of my mind. I just do not understand her. She has seen her grandson three times. Birth, as he was being rushed to the NICU, then at 2 weeks old as I was getting a ride from her to get my staples out. She held him as if he was contagious… like at arms length. This disturbed me. Then after she had moved into her new place I stopped by to visit, change a diaper and nurse the boy when he was around 7 months. Her house was not as bad as now, but still terrible and I was cringing about even bringing my son in there. I made it a fast visit and I refuse to bring him back inside until she cleans the place up. So the idea of her coming over for Christmas was delightful to me. I felt like maybe she was getting better… but I think she is in fact getting worse.

Sorry. Heavy stuff I know… it has been weighing on me.

Josh generally drives me crazy. Above and beyond being a typical male, he really lacks any and all initiative when it comes to… well, everything. He is not exactly the strong, compassionate and reliable man I dreamt of all my life. He can open a jar… and he has good personal hygiene, holds a job and pays bills, but other than that I cannot really count on him to help me with much. He feels like this is all he needs to do. He actually feels like I dont do enough!  His mother is one of those types who does everything for her man and for her child, all while keeping a perfectly neat and orderly home and taking care of every loose end… oh and the kicker– she would never complain either! So Josh is assuming that this is a normal quality for women in general… I just dont agree. I do not have a problem cooking, doing dishes, laundry, general cleaning and being a mom. I do however have a problem when I am always doing everything and then the weekend comes. Josh has two days off and helps with nothing. Usually he tries to get as much sleep as possible with a quick break for drinking and video games. I would just love some ”me” time. Some time off. I dont even want two full days… not even one full day! Lately he has been waking on Saturday at 8am and letting me sleep in for a few hours, then we trade-off. Yeah, that sounds really sweet right? Wrong! I have to bargain for it in some way or another and to me that just takes most of the enjoyment out of it. Just once I would love for him to do something nice, just to make me happy. HA-HA and one day hell just might freeze over too.

Sorry. This isnt a complaint blog now, I promise.

My son! Yes, my sweet little bundle of joy is another part of my problem! Recently, he has turned from lovable boy who gives me kisses and hugs who sings and has fun all day, to a maniacal little German midget who finds great delight in my despair and shock. He is not fully talking, but if I listen carefully I can decipher his German and he says little things like “I-get-up” or “I-go” which normally would be so adorable, but usually it screamed at me like an order I must adhere to! On the one hand, I want to stand at attention and follow his commands, on the other hand, I think that I need to take the upper hand in the situation. I mean, a child cannot make the rules, right? …right? HA. I try and lay down the law in my best ”Mom means business” voice and although I feel like I am stern and stiff… he just laughs at me. Then he continues his tirade. He is a very demanding young fellow. I am really looking forward to the part where Sesame Street starts teaching him english so I can actually understand him.

He has given up the highchair. He just wont have it anymore. I tried to enforce it, but then gave up and tonight he ate his meal on his knees in a regular chair at the table. I feel like he is too young for all this defiance and independence, but according to “THEM” he is right on track. I am afraid and I know that I need to figure out my game plan… since we seem to be playing a game of proverbial Risk and I think he might have been buttering me up with all those kisses and hugs in order to attack me when I am vulnerable. He did well and though he may fight a good fight, I intend to win this war and have a well behaved child without ending up in jail. This cant last forever, right? …right?  (Stop laughing.)

So these are my current stresses. Just add a gluten-free diet! (which by the way, 2 out of my 3 friends told me they think it is probably just “in my head”) I can assure everyone that I really have some sort of issue… whether it be Celiac’s diesease or just a severe gluen/wheat intolerance, I am not sure.

My life in a nutshell.

I do not know what to do about it, except just push through each day. I just keep knitting, reading, watching my tv and blogging in my spare time, hoping I dont end up as crazy as my mother.

Poop.

Wait, I cant end this on such a sour note. I refuse…

I finished cleaning my closet which included organizing my stash. Let’s just say I need to unscrew the lightbulb in there. Josh would freak out. I seriously freaked out! I had no idea I had so much. So score one for yarn hoarding.

Also, I lanolized 3 woolies items tonight and my hands are so baby smooth!

Oh an how about that Yarn Harlot? She’s amusing, eh?

…

The great polenta experiment.

I had polenta, once. It was okay. Pretty much the definition of peasant food… bland, boring, but edible. I had it with Prosecco and fresh cheeses at a dinner party in Italy. I remember it well. The prosecco was great to wash it down and the cheese was a total treat. Yesterday I did not have any prosecco and I had nothing but a block of Publix brand cheddar, but I wanted to make some polenta. Eating gluten free is a total pain in the ass and I am constantly hungry it seems. If I dont have something made already and stored in the fridge I do not have many options. I am so used to convenience meals, that it is mind blowing to think about cooking everything from scratch! Now, dont get me wrong… I can cook. I just dont particularly love to cook. I take it back… I love to cook for others, but I hate to cook for myself. Most days I find myself eating rice krispies, cheese, rice noodles, ice cream or chips and salsa. If I am lucky I have some leftovers in the fridge suitable for consumption. Usually a soup of some sort. I love soup.

I was surfing foodnetwork.com looking for the right polenta recipe and I couldnt decide. I finally settled on this Alton Brown recipe for, Savory Polenta. Alton Brown is amazing… part chef, part scientist with a dash of corny humor, so I figured at the very least this recipe would be edible. With the baby in the highchair, I set forth to make the polenta. I stirred in the corn meal whisking like a fool so not to have any lumps… HAHAHA it was lumpy as hell. when I popped it in the oven I realized I did not have a cover for the cast iron skillet I was using. OOPS. The oven timer went off and I set it on the stove to cool, then transferred it to a glass pan. The top seemed crusty and I tasted a bit… it was pretty savory. I didnt love it, but I didnt hate it either. It cooled in the fridge over night since I forgot I even made it. Then next day I fried some up for lunch and didnt like it. It was nothing like the stuff I had in the past. I sighed… another failed recipe. Recipes are like knitting patterns for me… sometimes they come out amazing and I am excited about the results… other times I am filling the garbage disposal or frogging and balling up yarn with tears in my eyes.

And just as I was prepared to dump it all down the disposal, I put a piece on the highchair tray for my little guy. To my surprise he loved it! I gave him the remaining polenta and he was actually double-fisting it! I still cant get over it.

In other GF news… I tried the Betty Crocker Gluten-free chocolate chip cookies, reviews are “so-so” very expensive for a mediocre batch of cookies. they did taste pretty authentic, but they were flat and dried out by day 2. They looked like you put too much butter and not enough flour in the batter, but without the greasy butter flavor.  I would only buy these again if I was truly desperate for chocolate chip cookies.  So, only a few times a week. (only joking!)

Betty Crocker GFree cookies!

Why I heart Twitter (today)

There are a billion reasons why twitter is so cool. I tweet almost daily and love it. Every once in awhile something really cool happens to me on twitter and I meet such cool folks. This morning I had a brush with someone pretty cool. I was trying to tweet Martha Stewart, long story short… she was having a technology show and tweeted that you could tweet live on her show, so I tried and failed, tried again and failed… (Well, I was doing it wrong!) I noticed this guy @ShepardJim was tweeting Martha to and he tweeting wondering if it was live, I tweeted him saying I doubted it was (found out later– I was right, she is too much of a perfectionist for live tv, if you ask me) and I noticed he had mentioned being from Maine. I tweeted something to the effect of missing Maine, having grown up there… well I check my twitter tonight and he had sent me a link since he noticed I am a yarn-fiend…  http://www.hatchtown.com/ Well, he is a real shepard and has a CSA farm. I love it! They have fiber and yarn, so here is yet another reason I need to learn spinning! There is absolutely nothing I love more than people who raise sheep. So if you are looking for a good fiber deal, his fiber looks luchious! The yarn is semi-worsted and undyed according to the site and it sounds very tempting right now! Maybe after I get all my dental work out of the way I can afford to join! There is nothing more appealing to me than getting yarn straight from the farm. My only wish is that I could pick it up in person. I miss Maine… but not November-May.

That is why I love twitter (today)