“Sometimes I get so tense, but I can’t speed up the time…”
I have come to realize after a day of screaming too much… that I do not have a lot of patience. Some days I have more (a lot more) than others.
Today was not one of those days.
I hate hearing myself scream at my son. I am going to make a HUGE effort to limit this as much as possible, because after today I am upset with myself for not having more patience. I made it through the infant stages with minimal breakdowns… there was this one day where I thought I was losing it, called Josh at work crying because our son just would not stop crying– I had maybe 20 minutes sleep in 2 days… I look back now and cant believe I was as calm as I was! Must have been those oxytocin and prolactin hormones flowing from breastfeeding!!!
Right now the kid must be going through something… A growth spurt? A phase? Whatever it is I am completely frustrated by it. He wants to be held– and ONLY BY ME– 24 hours a day. He is being very picky with food these last few days. I feel like I throw out enough to feed 2 extra kids some days. Today I could only get him to eat half a waffle, french fries and some gluten-free flat bread. I tossed out chicken, broccoli, crackers, raisins and it drives me crazy. Tomorrow I am going to try some jello with fruit in it. He will most likely eat more tomorrow since it is “Daddy-day” since I am going out to Hank’s in the afternoon. We shall see. I just want my happy kid back!!!!
Finally at least the weather seems to be warming up. Today might have hit 70. I feel like such a freak sometimes… I moved here in August of 2004 and that winter I never wore a jacket, maybe a sweater in January… I wore flip-flops the whole season and though everyone around me was crazy in their UGG boots and scaves, hats, mittens, ski jackets… Honestly, I have not yet pulled out my L.L. Bean ski jacket since moving here. Now I do feel cold if it drops below 60 degrees. I have fully adapted to Florida living!!! Scary.
Here is a picture of the best part of our day. We went to the mall to get me some jeans and the Boo-bear some new sneakers.
See next blog post… since Flickr is a pain in my ass!
Pearl Jam– Dissident
She nursed him there, ooh, over a night
Wasn’t so sure she wanted him to stay
What to say…what to say
But soon she was down, soon he was low
At a quarter past…a holy no…
She had to turn around
When she couldn’t hold, oh…she folded…
A dissident is here
Escape is never, the safest path
Oh, a dissident, a dissident is here
And to this day, she’s glided on
Always home but so far away
Like a word misplaced
Nothing to say, what a waste
When she had contact…with the conflict…
There was meaning, but she sold him to the state
She had to turn around
When she couldn’t hold…she folded…
A dissident is here
Escape is never, the safest path
Oh, a dissident, a dissident is here, oh…oh…oh…
She gave him away when she couldn’t hold…no…she folded…
A dissident is here
Escape is never, the safest path
Oh, a dissident, a dissident is here, oh…
Couldn’t hold on…she couldn’t hold…no…she folded…
A dissident is here
Escape is never the safest place, oh…
A dissident is here
